Why is it that I consistently don’t live up to my potential?
Why don’t I put the time I have to good use like I often plan to?
Why do I continue unhealthy habits that I know are causing me permanent damage?
Who doesn’t think this from time to time? Self-destruction is a topic we a scared to talk about because it involves one thing we’re hard at… being truthful to ourselves.
If you’ve come to this article, you probably suspect deep down that in some way you are a self-destructive person. If you are wanting better clarification or even confirmation that you are preoccupied with destructive behaviour and how you can change, then you’re in the right place.
Self-awareness is a huge advantage when it comes to identifying your own self-sabotaging behaviours, and understanding the ways you’re being self-destructive can be a great place to start.
Addictions
Drinking alcohol, taking drugs and other addictive behaviours? I’ve seen all too well how that can send your life into a spiral, not only harming you but those around you.
Addictions are one of the highest forms of self-destructive behaviour and over time destroys self-esteem and your confidence, becoming a deadly cycle that keeps you trapped in an unproductive lifestyle.
Emotional neglect
Are you handling your emotions, or are you actively blocking out your thoughts and feelings?
Repressed emotions are not good for your mental or emotional wellbeing. Failing to express emotion (both positive and negative) is a self-sabotaging behaviour and one that you need to fix if you wish to become free from anxiety and stress.
Nihilism
Feeling like nothing matters?
Nihilism is “the rejection of all religious and moral principles, in the belief that life is meaningless.”
Those who undertake this attitude tend to become lost, unaware of their real purpose and extremely unmotivated.
A purpose, meaning and a fulfilling role within society are the key aspects of our mental wellbeing; ultimately that is what keeps us sane. The feeling that nothing matters can manifest into self-sabotaging behaviours such as spending recklessly, not planning for the long-term and having little to no interest in your career and personal responsibility.
Disrupted Eating
Are you undereating? What about eating too much? This can be a sign of low self-esteem and issues with your self-image and confidence levels.
If you’re neglecting to feed yourself, this can have serious side-effects long-term and can be classified as self-harm.
Lacking Belief In Self
Are you constantly pulling yourself down? Do you have a low estimation of your own abilities?
This is one of the most subtle ways of self-sabotage because in the long-term you miss out opportunities to develop your skills and ultimately progress within your life.
Without standing up for a belief in your ability to do anything new, how will you ever progress?
Speaking Down About Yourself
Related to the above, but this is what you’re saying about yourself.
What do you say to others about who you are? How about what you say to yourself, about yourself?
This can be a huge indication of how you actually see yourself. Don’t allow the words that you say and how you speak about yourself trap you into a fixed state of mind.
Being Too Agreeable
Sometimes, you hide the fact you have given up by yourself by accommodating other people’s needs.
In fact, being agreeable makes you blissfully unaware of your sense of self, an excellent way of escapism that seems selfless.
Social suicide
Do you purposely (or perhaps, unconsciously) do things that alienate you from your social group? A tendency for anti-social behaviour or being deliberately arrogant, irritating and annoying can be some signs you’ve developed a self-destructive habit when it comes to forming mutual relationships and friendships.
Anxiety & Worry
Not all anxiety is bad. We need it to keep us alert in situations that may be dangerous for us, it’s the “fight or flight” aspect of us that keeps us aware of hazardous situations.
It’s when our anxiety and worry are not constituted with any real threat that becomes the problem.
According to a book by Earl Nightingale, a prolific researcher on personal development, only 8% of our worries are legitimate. Here’s an excerpt from his book, How to Completely Change Your Life in 30 Seconds:
- Things that never happen: 40 percent. That is, 40 percent of the things you worry about will never occur anyway.
- Things over and past that can’t be changed by all the worry in the world: 30 percent.
- Needless worries about our health: 12 percent.
- Petty, miscellaneous worries: 10 percent.
- Real, legitimate worries: 8 percent. Only 8 percent of your worries are worth concerning yourself about. Ninety-two percent are pure fog with no substance at all.
Think about some of your worries. Do the statistics above resonate?
Lack of Action
Do you always have big plans, but you never take action towards that desired goal? Feel like you’re constantly going around in a circle?
It can become a self-sabotaging habit; getting a new idea, thinking it through for weeks, becoming emotionally invested and bragging to friends. Then there’s no follow-up, and a couple of weeks later you’re on to the next idea.
Not only that, it may be that you have a mixture of these attitudes (nihilism, drug addiction, anxiety) and your lack of action is intertwined with those issues too.
Without taking action we never leave our comfort zones, leaving little room for growth and development within our lives.
Self-Pity
Self-pity is one of the easiest forms of self-sabotage because you can develop the tendency to become a victim and blame everyone else but yourself, which allows you to neglect personal responsibility.
Merely being a victim of the circumstances around you? Feeling sorry for yourself and like “life isn’t fair”? The truth is that life is cruel and everyone goes through hardships. It’s how we react to them that defines us as people, and self-pity is particularly destructive because it keeps you locked in the past, refusing to move on and paint a new picture for yourself and the future.
Self-Harm
We can be extremely hard on ourselves. And when you consider that suicide is the leading cause of death of young people aged 20-34 years of age in the UK, it gives you a chilling revelation into just how many people are taking their self-hatred to extreme lengths.
Suicide included, this is where destructive habits can get the best of anyone. Our self-esteem can become so low that we feel a tendency to cause ourselves harm.
It takes a huge loss of self-esteem and an extremely distorted self-image for someone to harm themselves, and if you are committing these sorts of acts then please give me a call for a confidential chat, or reach out to someone you feel comfortable speaking to.
Do you want to develop a new self-image, change your destructive thoughts and create a new positive lifestyle? I believe that you’re just one change away from a new life, as once you take control of one habit, you begin to see that you have the power to change them all.
Give me a call today to speak about how I could help you change. My name’s Stuart, I’m a qualified hypnotherapist and life coach, and whatever your problem is, let’s get to the bottom of it together and solve it once and for all. It’s 07825599340
